The Winds of Change

Already into the third month of the year. This is a difficult month. A year ago this month, my daddy died. I miss him. Sometimes, I still can't believe that I will never see his face or hear his voice...We weren't that close -- until the end, that is...but he was my daddy and I loved him dearly. I miss him.

My mom is still here and I need to spend more time with her -- and with the family that I love. I've wasted so much time and energy on relationships - only to find myself alone at 44. I have the power in my life and I need to make some tough decisions. I owe more to myself and to my family.

I am so pleased that the weather is warming up. Winter is so very difficult for me. This year it's been even worse. At least I've found out one of the causes -- Vitamin D deficiency! Who knew?...At least it explains some of the fatigue, sadness and anxiety...I'm taking 5000 IUs a day to try to regain some balance.

I'm looking for a new apartment but I don't think I can afford what I most want -- room. For the price I'm currently paying, I can get a nicer place (better amenities); maybe a little closer to downtown; but less living space. I currently have a 2bedroom / 2 bath. I don't need the second bath but I love having a private scrapbook room. I can definitely scale down if I find a place that I really love. It's just another change so I'm apprehensive.

Well, it's 4:35am and I need to jump into the shower and get ready for work. I really love my job and I'm so blessed to have it in this ecomony. I thank God every day for his goodness and mercy.

Month of Love...

There were things that I loved about this month...and things that I didn't love much at all.

Here's my love list:

• I got a raise
• I started working out
• I'm scrapbooking again
• I'm closer to Nich than ever
• I'm back on Facebook
• Favorite song: "Empire State of Mind" by Jay-Z and Alicia Keyes
• Winter's almost over
• My Jeep Liberty
• Jaidyen. He's the love of my life.

Two months into the year. So far, so good.